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 Support Resources For Fathers of Angels"Because Daddy hurts too...."
This section is designed to give support to grieving fathers, these are actual quotes and/or statements from fathers who have loved and lost. |
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" Why? When I was informed that Vayden had LUTO, I asked myself "why" over and over again. I blamed myself sometimes, thinking it was something I did. I thought the RADAR system that I worked on might have been the cause. I secretly blamed Stephanie, my wife, sometimes. I thought that maybe it was something she was eating or drinking. I had these thoughts for the majority of the pregnancy. I never shared my feelings or thoughts with my wife. I thought that I had to hide my feelings and stay strong for the family. I didn't really talk to anyone about our situation. I informed a few people at work, but didn't give too many details. I didn't want people thinking I couldn't do my job because of my family issues. Steph and I agreed to meet with the base chaplain. I still didn't talk much about my feelings or thoughts, but it helped me bring my shield down a little. Talking to the chaplain did help me realize that Vayden's condition wasn't anyone's fault. Not mine and surely not my wife's. God made his decision that he needed another Angel, and he chose Vayden to fill that slot.
My advice to the fathers, who might be faced with a similar situation as our family, is talk. Talk to you friends, family, or chaplain. But surely talk to your wife or girlfriend. Don't be afraid to show your feelings. It's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you really care. Losing or knowing that you are going to lose a child is a tremendous amount of stress. Talking to someone and sharing your feelings with someone helps a lot to relive that stress. The only regret that I have for our situation is that I didn't do this for my wife."
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"The only thing that gives me comfort in this process is that I have been able to "be there" for Kelly and help her navigate her grief as well; even if all I can do sometimes is give her a shoulder to cry on. I would do anything and everything to be able to take the pain away from her, but I know I can't.
If there is anyway that you can comminucate to him how much he means to you, and how he helps you get through this difficult time, I am sure that would mean a great deal to him. That seems to be universal among men; we take great pride and comfort in being able to provide for our families - even emotional support."
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| Baby Center Article for how dad's cope with loss |
| http://www.babycenter.ca/pregnancy/griefandloss/dadscopingwithloss/ |
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"Talk to you friends, family, or chaplain. But surely talk to your wife or girlfriend. Don't be afraid to show your feelings. It's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you really care." - Van S. Stewart Jr.
(Father to angel baby Vayden - May 23,2009)
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"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on the world"- Anonymous
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About MVOA , MVOA in the Media , The 345 Teddy Bear Project, Support While Carrying to Term (CTT) , Ideas for carrying to term , Why I Carried To Term , Tackling The Tough Questions While CTT , At Home After Your Loss , Funeral / Memorial Planning , Recipe to Get Through Pregnancy & Infant Loss , How To Support a Woman CTT , Information on Angel Showers, Testimonials , Resources For Mothers of Angels , Resources For Fathers of Angels , Resources For Siblings, Grandparents, Friends and Family
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